Fish Finger Sandwich: Cheeseburger Pizza

I don't believe in new year's resolutions - if you want to do something, just do it. You don't need the excuse of something as arbitrary as the Earth revolving around the Sun. But if I did believe in new year's resolutions, then mine would be to bring you - the fans - an even more outrageous selection of culinary curiosities than last year.

So, many of you will be aware that last year Pizza Hut launched a cheeseburger pizza in the middle east, receiving worldwide media attention and widespread ridicule. Now, personally I have no problem with cheeseburgers on a pizza, but their creation looks truly hideous. Judge for yourself:

Lettuce on a pizza? Yuck. It doesn't even look like a pizza. And the orange stuff doesn't look like cheese. I just knew that I could do better. So finally I got round to it.

I made a sauce from tomato puree, ketchup, chopped tomatoes, and oregano, and microwaved it to break down the tomatoes. I then spread it onto a pizza bread base, before adding bits of mozarella.

Now it was time to turn my attention to the toppings. I reshaped a quarter pounder burger into 4 smaller patties, and quickly fried them to ensure they'd be cooked through. I placed them onto the pizza, topped with thick slices of cheddar, and added some slices of tomato.

I put it into the oven at full blast for about 12 minutes, adding sliced gherkins about halfway through. After cooking, I added a few blobs of mustard onto the pizza.